FIRE IN MY BONES (fight for your soul- 4)
“I have discovered fire in my bones. It is an agitation to be free without restrictions. It is the turmoil of suppressed emotions seeking expression. It makes me feel like fermented palm wine corked up in a bottle. When the feelings are stirred up; I barely can hold them back. It makes one feel like going all the way with unbridled passions, to let go; to let in and continue until all is drained out as one perspires with satisfaction.”
Suddenly I snapped out of it to realize that there are restrictions. Though it is obvious that everyone around me seems to be interested. The bill boards, the magazines, the daily newspapers and tabloids and the internet is awash with it. The adverts flaunt it and the dressing culture has gradually tipped in that direction; leggings, spagetti, bum shorts, bikini, topless gown, tights, sagging etc. Everything shows that we all have unbridled passions.
Yet, everyone pretends. A society that flagrantly builds up emotions in us and turns around to condemn the expression thereof in the name of morality is hypocritical. When an X-rated video leaks, it goes viral. Why does it go viral? It is because everyone wants a peep while pretending to condemn the act as a reason for peeping! We are all guilty as charged.
The fire in the soul is a war. A war between what a man has become (thinking that is what he is) and what is seemingly acceptable as the limit of expression by the society. It is also a war between self perception and the conscience with oscillation between guilt and satisfaction confused by personal integrity.
Is this not evident by the way presidents of nations and celebrities being indicted daily with accusations of sexual abuse, molestations, rape, sexual harassment of minors or of sub-staffs?
There is obviously a war against the soul which is set up by the little acts that are seemingly innocent and curious and perhaps exciting at the beginning but gradually entangles the mind. This goes on till the person begins to identify himself by the new desires created through gradual modification of the mind. This war is set up between the duo of being consumed by lustful desires and feelings condemned by one`s conscience (feeling of exhilaration followed by guilt).
There is a war in almost every individual against the soul of man. That war is started by succumbing to “fleshly lusts”.
“…..abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;” Simon Peter
WHAT IS THE SOURCE OF THE FIRE?
1. Our emotions responds to how we think. We are not what we feel until we loose control of our feelings by continually yielding to them till it becomes our habitual character. Unfortunately by the time that occurs, our mind has been conformed gradually to think in that particular way such that we have actually “renamed” ourselves
2. Even though our emotions responds to how we think, it is difficult for our feelings to distinguish between reality and thoughts. Once we can have a vivid imagination of the act, our emotions respond as if we are actually involved (virtual reality). We can therefore create a pattern of responses by a continual exposure in our minds without the actual act (our thinking can be overloaded by information passed continually through our brain creating the feelings which now become associated with that pattern of thinking thus creating an obssession).
For example, continual watching of pornography or exposure to nudity creates emotions in you which is not from conscious thought but from pictures created in our mind from outside. By the time such pleasurable feelings becomes acquainted with such pattern of thought, we would have subconsciously imbibed a thinking pattern which originally was not ours.
The same goes for religious fanaticism, greed for money, lust for power, homosexualism, addiction to hard drugs etc
We all gradually being conformed either consciously or unconsciously. The dangerous part of the conformation is when it is subconscious. It causes a war within us against our soul. It is like a troop (of thoughts) trying to take over our minds stirring up “high tension” feelings (crazy urges) like fire in the bones. The feelings gradually build up for a takeover. Many are captives at will.
HOW DO WE QUENCH THE FIRE?
1. Identify those innocent gratifying actions that you began to indulge in as you grew up ranging from books you enjoyed reading, magazines, movies, talks you engaged in, pranks you played which started initially like a sport, audios you listened to which initially sounded odd but you continued to engage in them because they made you feel ‘good’ for the moment.
2. Take note of how you continued to read, listen to, go to same places, watch same things, engaged in those acts repeatedly just to have more of the feelings. Your mind had a hitch, but you liked the feelings generated and you gradually began to convince your mind that it was okay. You were gradually getting conformed.
3. Since it started over a long time and it has become a habit, you now have the duty to unlearn the habit by a) avoiding the exposures, b) beginning to expose yourself to new thoughts and pattern of thinking and c) imbibing new acts and moving with those people you resented before but who will now encourage the new person you are trying to become.
One thing that will surely help you by changing you into a new person and giving you the chance to start all over again is turning your life over to Jesus Christmas. If you are down and out, you will do well to give him that chance.
2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
However, if you claim to be in Christ and you have gotten yourself into the same mess, it is time you wake up. You are one of the reasons it seems there is no difference between the righteous and the sinner. A righteous man with a sinner’s mind is not different from a sinner!
Psalm 1:1-2 KJV
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.  But his delight is in the law of the Lord ; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.
Read about effortless change here: MP3 download by Andrew Wommack – Effortless change
Read more about the soul of man here:
Part 1: OVERCOMING ADDICTION