The little boy decided to ask his Dad a question and once he was granted a consent, there goes his question, “Dad, what is the meaning of rape, deflower and intercourse?” I was stunned for a few minutes. Here was an eight year old boy asking me such questions 
and I wondered where in the world did he come across three of such words at the same time such that he could literally rattle them all in one sentence.
Here was I, a father for eight years, a medical doctor with a graduating thesis written on sex education: “Knowledge, attitude and practice of Kwara Polytechnic students on sex education” My team and I had delved on the sources of sex education for the youths in the society and their practice as related to sex (sexual behavior) and we were amazed to know that many of them had wrong information and had garnered most of these wrong and dangerous notions from peers and the social media. I had watched societies evolve and seen all that happened under the Obama era in liberalizing same sex marriage across the 
nations. I have been involved in the decades of war against sexually transmitted infections. I have seen marriages break up from infidelity, irresponsible father hood and promiscuous wives. I have seen men held in high repute disgraced because of a moment of error. I have seen youths ruined from guilt and unwanted pregnancies. I have seen and manged individuals with the difficulties of making a choice between an abortion and keeping an unexpected baby.
I knew that the day would come when my children will ask me these questions. I was getting prepared for it. I had planned a family retreat to pre-empt them and gradually introduce them to all I feel they needed to know about sexuality. I never wanted the society to beat me to it. I wanted to do it my own way. In fact, I was just waiting for them 
to clock 8 years and prep them up between 8-12 yrs as puberty occurs. Somehow this young man has beaten me to it. His voice echoed in my ears, “Dad, what is the meaning of rape, deflower and intercourse?”
I was far away in another continent at this time. While at home I had shielded them from all information I felt was too big for them. I weaned them off cartoons by stirring up their interest in nature (Nat Geo Wild, Night at the museum etc), by watching classic movies together (home alone, smallville, batman etc) and taught them to face their studies as I worked their assignments with them. The moment I introduced them to encyclopedias for children and noticed what caught their interest, I knew that they were approaching adulthood. I was hoping to help them transit well into that phase. Yet, I was stunned with his question.
After a moment of silence, I asked him to tell me where he got that from. The answer was pretty obvious, “from the TV in a public reception”. History was playing itself out again. Thank God for science, we can recognize patterns. My problem was far from over as I attempted to give an answer. Wait a minute, ‘How do I give an answer to this man over 
the phone’, I thought as I played with some words in my mouth. Finally after some babbling without actually answering his question I told him, “Remind me again when we meet, I will make sure I answer your question”. “Okay Dad”, he replied. Phew!, as I took a deep breath.
How do I explain the word ‘rape’ to an 8 year old when we have not even discussed what intercourse is? The world/social media has reversed the trend by introducing- ‘rape, deflower, intercourse’, instead of – intercourse, deflower, rape. One is a natural event and normal, the second can occur between two consenting people depending on the age of the female partner but the third is a crime committed against an unwilling partner!
Just below is an excerpt from an essay written by an innocent little kid about the day he barged into his parents room:
While I advocate the need for formal sex education, from my experience, parental guidance (from responsible parents) is far more important. Both could go hand in hand but parents should be willing to take responsibility for their children. Determining how to introduce our children to the crazy world of sex we have around us today which differs from what obtained decades ago has become paramount to their survival. Many youths are ruined with guilt because they got it wrong. Several have social and psychological problems because they associated with wrong set of friends and were led astray. Many are distant from their parents because they see a different world and cannot live with ‘unnecessary’ restrain from their parents. This is not religion and not about laws, sex is natural, it is the intricate part of who we are and we must handle that part of us well.
Please send in your comments: What answer will you give my boy? At what age should sex education be introduced, at 6 years, 8 years or later?
Here is another experience at 6 years.
Some websites have tried to offer help to parents:
Life, Health and Prosperity 